The jury is still out among vintage rock lovers concerning Greta Van Fleet. Respected by some as carrying the torch for early 70's blues-based hard rock bands, one in particular. Reviled by others as a blatant rip-off guilty of cultural misappropriation, "who do these punk kids think they are messing with the Zoso formula?"
So how exactly does Mr. Dad Rock himself (or Mrs. Mom Rock herself, likewise) come to terms with this phenomenon of Greta Van Fleet? Well, first, if you have teenagers and they love Greta Van Fleet take a moment, find an empty closet, step inside and close the door behind you. Drop down to your knees, close your eyes and thank the good Lord in heaven they've inherited their musical taste from you and not the internet.
On the other hand, let's say you're one of those people who snarl their nose at the Kiszka brothers and their outlier drummer. What exactly is it about this quartet that refuses to allow you to accept it all at face value? Yeah, it's kind of awkward the way vocalist Josh Kiszka just sort of stands like a statue while belting out a castrato that indeed bears a passing resemblance to the high pitched horn-dog moaning of Robert Plant. Just enough, I suppose, to have pushed him over the line with critics who say he's consciously mimicking the style. Maybe he is, I don't know. I don't mind so much. It is an interesting, almost pleasant sound. Kid knows how to use it.
Yes, this is not news to anyone, they sound a lot like Led Zeppelin minus the added bonus of Plant's sexuality and lyrical brilliance, Page's virtuosity and air of mystery, Jones' flexibility and "the thunder of John Bonham's drums" (thanks, Mr. Kozelek). That's a pretty tall order to fill, though, and luckily I don't think it's what Greta Van Fleet are all about.
There is, however, one thing Greta Van Fleet have in common with Led Zeppelin which this gif snatched from an SNL performance proves beyond the shadow of a doubt, Greta Van Fleet have been influenced by Jimmy Page's interest in the occult, black magic and all things dark 'n' spooky. Pay close attention to the gif provided and behold that GVF singer Josh Kiszka has taken Page's curiosity into a full-blown obsession with necromancy, surpassing even Page in the ability to actually pull the shit off.
Of course there were no such things as gifs in the early 70s so there's no way to know if Jimmy Page was capable of similar mind and time bending feats that Kiszka has very obviously mastered. Once again, take a good long gander at all you see taking place in this gif. If it helps feel free to open it in another window on your PC so you can glance at it periodically to get a feel for what I'm about to explain to you. Those Zoso boys may have gone down in history for their Stairway to Heaven, the perceptive will note Greta Van Fleet's equally impressive dalliance with the deeds of demons and da debbil.
In the video we see Greta Van Fleet standing in the center of what appears to be a soundstage. His hair is a bit too long considering the natural curl. On a side note, my own hair was naturally curly, though nothing as impossibly unmanageable as young Josh's. I can tell you he most likely hates his hair. Perhaps this is why he attempts to distract the viewer from his pate to the ribbon-hanging travesty that is his shirt. I'm surprised this shirt has not become an internet meme yet. Anyway, he's saying something, albeit not into his microphone. This is because his words are not meant for the audience but to an invisible spirit dancing on front stage left. Some people believe he is shouting "Shout!" and this is a very good possibility. I am not willing to dial up the video on Hulu to verify so I'll concede that he may as well have been shouting "Shout!" but oh my god the redundancy. What I have learned from trusted sources and a couple who may not be quite as trusted as the others but generally give good information when plied with liquor and drugs is that Occultists, long since having grown bored with placing backwards masked subliminalisms into rock songs, have turned to the making of gifs for the purpose of manipulating language via pixel scrambling and other features that will not be available on consumer models for at least another 40 years. Which all boils down to how they've warped reality as we know it with this gif:
What Josh is spitting is actually "SIT DOWN!", accentuated by the sharp movement of his arm, a universally accepted semaphore signal for "sit-the-fuck-down". Those who have bought into the Greta Van Fleet occult obsession theory tell me that these words are directed to a small yet firey demon that was dancing in the corner of upper stage left. The demon, if sources can be believed, had materialized out of thin air and it's herky jerky dancing movements were distracting to the young Kiszka brother. Not only were he and his band debuting on Saturday Night Live, Josh was under a lot of pressure. This small but annoying dancing demon was threatening not only to ruin all of that but even more importantly the distraction was stealing too much thunder from the warping of time and space which was going on behind him.
Here is the key. Or the philosopher's stone if you prefer. Josh Kiszka stands in the center not only of a soundstage, but at the portal between two worlds. Notice the cymbal is magically crashed every time Kiszka's hand bats down his invisible gremlin. Without fail. Every time. Doomed in a gif to define eternity, or so he would have you believe. With the sound of the Zildjian crash a rollicking bass player, doing his best Chuck Berry duck walk, motivates himself right out of one world and into another. Another world that exists forever and yet the very same world that ceased to exist only a second ago.
It's only magic, you say. In response to which another of you rises with vitriol in his eyes and says, "It's only technology". And you are both right.
But Greta Van Fleet. I think even the haters, were they forced to listen to GVF's album Anthem of the Peaceful with blindfolds on their eyes, ignorant of who it is they're listening to...well, they're probably going to figure out it's Greta Van Fleet. There is a strong Led Zeppelin vibe throughout but I almost hear more Geddy Lee in Josh Kiszka's voice than Robert Plant's, albeit not quite so shrill and ear-damaging. There are a few blatant Zeppelin rip-offs, so obvious I could cite the references if I weren't so lazy. Listen and you won't need me to. There's no way you won't notice them.
On the other hand, it's true, Greta Van Fleet can get away with that because their audience is not the typical vintage rock lover who has heard every Zeppelin album so many times he can recite track listings, in order, with numerous other trivial tidbits. They are a group of young guys, I'm guessing just out of high school. They were doing this in high school so they come by it honestly. They adore Led Zeppelin and are infinitely more respectful of their legacy than the bulk of Zeppelin tribute bands playing tired covers on the circuit.
Plus, they're amazing necromancers. At least Josh is.
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