...in which I attempt to remedy a situation brought on by the neighbor's worthless bulldog

The people next door have a wretched, loathsome bulldog and they don't seem to mind where he takes a crap when they let him outside. The worthless beast often utilizes my front lawn and understandably I'm not too happy with his choice. I've decided I will take a shovel, scoop it up and toss it in the yard on the side of their house facing ours. You know, returning it to it's rightful owners. Today was the second time I had the chance to do this but something unexpected forced me to re-think the logic of my retribution dispersion method.

He laid down one of the worst I've ever seen or smelled. The flies were swarming on it before it even hit the grass. The stench was of the type that knocks you backward while you suppress the urge to hurl. The pile was of sufficient size that scooping it with a shovel was easy, even though the distribution in it's weight caused a fresh wave of nauseating stank to fill the air like dry ice at a Kiss concert.

Holding my breath I more or less got it all on my shovel and stepped over to dump it on their ground. This is where it went wrong. Apparently I underestimated how much muscle would be required to transfer it to their lawn. SPLAT! Not only did that dogs*** hit the side of their house, it STUCK THERE! There was even a blob the size of a small egg that was hanging on the television antenna pole.

To make a long story short, no I did not leave it in that outrageous condition. It wasn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but I got it done...although there was no way all of that stuff was coming off. We'll have to see what happens.

I hate that dog and truth be told I doubt that Peta OR the ASPCA would have any objections whatsoever if I put it out of it's misery. It ain't normal. I love dogs, don't get me wrong, some breeds more than others, but this thing is cut from a whole 'nother cloth. It's a breed from hell.