I wrote this on September 23, which, if memory serves, was the day after REM broke up...
In 1985 I found myself locked behind the walls of the Naval Hospital's 4th floor psych ward in Orlando, FL. I wound up spending almost 6 months there, waiting for a bipolar disorder diagnosis. A tragic situation on many levels. One of the worst experiences of my life, made all the worse for the wonderful things happening on the outside that I should have been a part of. Mainly the birth of my first child, a daughter who I was not able to see until over a month after her arrival. Many were the times when I felt like giving up, but knowing I'd soon be with her kept me going.
There was something else that kept me going, though it certainly was not of the same magnitude as seeing my daughter. It might not make sense to a lot of people, but that thing was a record album. Namely Fables of the Reconstruction by R.E.M., a band that I had decided, a couple of years before, was the best American rock band of all time. Music being my passion, I'm not sure that I could describe just how much this group affected me, from the first bars of Chronic Town, their debut EP, to the last chords of "Little America" from their second full-length offering, Reckoning.
I was in a band myself at the time. Ask the other guys how infatuated with R.E.M. I was...They'll probably tell you that I wanted to turn it into an R.E.M. tribute band, and who knows but maybe there is some truth in that. I would gladly have worked up their entire catalog up to that point if I thought they would let me. Luckily my excitement was contagious and they both wound up being R.E.M. fans eventually.
I wanted to do everything the way they did. Their "ethos" seemed so right to me. Uncompromising originality, doing it their way, never letting the new record sound too much like the last one, working their fan base from the ground up, going out in teams of two to promote themselves...they seemed honest and genuine. I admired everything about them musically, from Peter Buck's jangling guitar to Mike Mills' chordal bass playing to Bill Berry's rock solid drumming...and okay, I will confess, it was Michael Stipe's voice, style and slurring that really sold me on them. Even so, it was the package deal that kept me interested.
Do you want to know how obsessed I was with R.E.M. in 1984? I owned a SWEET MusicMan Stingray bass guitar...one of the best basses made at the time. I loved it. Then, one evening as I watched the band's appearance on some forgotten MTV "Rock Legends" program I saw Mike Mills' Rickenbacker and decided, then and there, that I had to have one, too. If that was part of what made up the R.E.M. sound, well I needed that. To make a long story short, I traded in my MusicMan and a hundred bucks for a piece of crap stereo Rickenbacker that sounded awful and was difficult to play.
One of the big disappointments of my life up to that point (inexperienced youth that I was) was missing the band touring for the Reckoning album when they played at a renovated church in Norman, Oklahoma called The Bowery (the legendary Bowery, as far as I was concerned). I'd heard they were going to perform there but when I called to get details I was told they'd already been there...the night before! So I asked if they knew where the band was scheduled to play next. It was at some bowling alley in Dallas on that evening. The next show was in St. Louis, Missouri and I seriously thought about doing whatever I had to do to get there. I think it was Southern Methodist University (I could be wrong). They informed me that students had first dibs on the tickets and I knew right then that it was hopeless. I did eventually see them, during the Life's Rich Pagaent tour. It wasn't Fables-centric, but they did most of my favorite songs ("Sitting Still" & "Shaking Through" are the ones I remember the best). Mike Mills even said something about how the first time they'd played in Oklahoma was at "some church". I think they played Oklahoma one more time after that, for the Green album. I missed that one, but it was okay by me. I wasn't real happy with the direction their music was going at the time they signed with Warner Bros.. I was just happy I'd been able to see them before then.
So, what does all this have to do with getting through a 6 month stint in observation? Just this: I'd heard that the band's 3rd album was going to be released in mid-to-late '85 and I could not wait! Oh, but I had to. Because it came out about two months after I took up residence on the 4th floor psych ward! Such bad timing! One day I'm listening to the stereo in the lounge when, I couldn't believe it myself, "Can't Get There From Here" comes on. It sounds almost nothing like R.E.M.. I wanted to hear it again and a few more times to get a handle on the direction they were heading. I thought it was pretty good on first hearing, but I couldn't be sure just how much I might like it without a couple more decent listens. To make matters worse I got a copy of Rolling Stone and wouldn't you know it? The feature review was of Fables of the Reconstruction. It was a very positive review. I remember seeing all the song titles, wondering what the songs themselves might sound like. I proselytized R.E.M. to any and all of the psych techs who cared to listen and no doubt more than one realized that getting to hear that record was one of the things that kept my chin up. Re-united with wife and daughter was most important, obviously, but getting my own copy of Fables was a powerful incentive to hang on as well.
I know I haven't gone into detail about what I went through there. Or how or why or whatever, none of it really needs to be related other than to point out that those days, weeks, months WERE difficult for me. I don't think I can over-emphasize how these things, big and small, pulled me through, or to describe exactly what it was they actually did pull me through. Suffice to say that I will be thankful for them until the day I die.
It should come as no surprise that one of the first things I did when I was discharged was go straight to Sound Warehouse to buy a copy of Fables of the Reconstruction....or Reconstruction of the Fables depending on which side of the jacket you were looking at. The wheels were set in motion. The grooves in the record would be worn out only weeks later. The music, in the grand R.E.M. tradition, shared little in common with what came before. Just enough to remind you of who you were listening to and why you loved them. Yes, I had my favorites. "Life and How to Live It", "Feeling Gravity's Pull"...and there were a couple I wasn't all that crazy about, "Old Man Kinsey", "Maps and Legends". But as a whole I couldn't think of too many albums that were so consistently excellent.
Maybe my reverence for Fables of the Reconstruction is tinged with sentimental attachment. So it is. Still I have no problem coming out and saying that it is one of the few truly great records of the 80s. Unlike the music of so many dime-a-dozen MTV-friendly music video pimping bands of that decade, R.E.M.'s mid 80s output will be remembered for a long time to come.
I confess, I'm not much of an R.E.M. fan these days. I don't like having to say that, but it's true. They have released excellent music since I fell off the bandwagon, but it's not for me. No doubt that is the curse of any band who doggedly insists on not repeating themselves. At some point you're going to lose the people who aren't willing to follow your muse. Maybe the word "willing" is not what I mean to say. I'm "willing" to go with them, but it's useless because the music doesn't appeal to me anymore. The last song I truly loved by R.E.M. was "New Test Leper" from the last album they recorded with Bill Berry on the drums, New Adventures in Hi-Fi. Even that was after generally losing interest, as I mentioned earlier, after they signed with major label, Warner Brothers. They got more popular, with the success of "Losing My Religion" and later "Everybody Hurts", an anthem so universal it was bound to resonate with everyone. They were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame not too long afterward. They had made it, they'd done it their way, and whether or not the old school fans wanted to admit it or not, they'd come out on the other side with dignity and integrity intact, doing what THEY wanted to do, still releasing music that draws in new fans, at least two for every one lost, it seems. So the oversight is mine, for sure.
As of yesterday, September 21, 2011, that's all history. R.E.M. has broken up and it's almost surreal to me. Even though I may never have gotten back into them again I still have a very difficult time believing that it's over. It's just a band. Yet so much more to me. Why? I don't know myself. Their music was very much a soundtrack to some good times in my life. They were down to earth and never let rock stardom turn them into assholes. I'll never forget writing to their fan club and getting a personal note from Mike Mills, who informed me that he had family here in Oklahoma. Of course this was in the early stages of their career, so they had more time to be so available to their fans. But I have always got the impression that R.E.M. have always treated their fans not only with respect but as fellow travellers on their journey.
Me? I will always consider them to be one of my favorite groups in the history of modern music. Come to think of it, maybe it was a good thing that I didn't follow them after Bill Berry's departure. There are three entire R.E.M. albums that I have never heard...I'm sure I'll come around to where they left me someday. I'll have what I might as well consider "new music" from the band. New to me. That will make it somewhat easier to deal with the fact that the three remaining members will no longer be creating more as a unit. Though that be the case, the reality is that R.E.M.'s body of work will stand up to repeated listening for years to come. Long after the idea of "alternative music" has died, the name "R.E.M." will be remembered and their legacy will be, among other things, the proof that music can transcend labels. That it can rise above categorizations.
Mr. Berry...Mr. Buck...Mr. Mills...Mr. Stipe...God bless you. Thank you. Thank you so much and may you each be successful in whatever endeavors you choose to pursue at this point in your lives. You've touched a lot of people. Your music genuinely moved us. Your originality has amazed us. Your integrity has inspired us. You have not let us down, in the past or with this decision to call it a day. We trust you well enough to give you the benefit of the doubt and if you say the time has come, then it's for certain the time has come. But you will be missed...and it is with no small degree of sadness that I have to say...
Goodbye
Here is a list of my favorite R.E.M. songs, limited to 2 tracks per album.
Chronic Town:
Gardening at Night
Wolves, Lower
Murmur:
Sitting Still
Shaking Through
Reckoning:
Harborcoat
Pretty Persuasion
Fables of the Reconstruction:
Kahoutek
Life and How to Live It
Life's Rich Pagaent:
Hyena
These Days
Dead Letter Office:
Voice of Harold
Bandwagon
Document:
Finest Worksong
King of Birds
Green:
The Wrong Child
(hidden track)
Out of Time:
Country Feedback
Belong
Automatic for the People:
Nightswimming
Find the River
Monster:
Let Me In
What's the Frequency, Kenneth
New Adventures in Hi-Fi:
New Test Leper
Leave
I haven't listened to the "post-Berry" albums enough to have any favorites. Haven't heard the last three at all. But I do like "Imitation of Life" and "Beat a Drum" from Reveal quite a lot.
Believe me when I tell you that it wasn't easy to narrow the selections on this list down to only two per record.
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